2. BE POSITIVE. Your statement should not sound staged or stilted, but enthusiastic and motivated. Consider topics which would be easiest for you to put descriptive words to. Your personal statement is a testament of your passions and your earnestness, the image you want the reviewing committee to see of you. That image should never be negative, bland, or boring; you want the committee to say, on reading your statement, we'd like to meet this person. Avoid using "waffle" words (words which qualify your experiences and commitment) such as "rather", "quite", "somewhat", or "probably". Waffle words tend to give the impression the writer is unsure of him or herself; with the personal statement, all writing should be positive and express confidence and directness.
In this personal statement introduction the reader is captured by the reason why they chose to become an investment banker. The author of this piece has demonstrated a powerful introduction, the style is simple, straightforward narrative. This personal statement will surely provide a valuable insight as to why she wishes to become a nurse.