So how do I know what universities want? Start by reading about the university, the course you want to study and the "entry profiles" as these will give you information about the type of student the university is looking for. Universities also want the truth so do not lie about your abilities and they want your writing so do not ask someone to write the personal statement for you. Some areas to cover include why you want to study this subject, what your future career plans are, what you do in your free time, what skills you have (academic and non_academic), what's interesting and/ or different about you.
Another problem often discovered at this stage is the presence of too many short sentences and paragraphs that seem choppy and abrupt. As a solution, try to develop these into longer, more graceful sentences. Formal writing generally utilizes longer sentences, so try using more compound and complex sentences. Using long sentences add flavor and variety to your writing, not to mention the fact that it also showcases your proficiency with words. You can also consider the word_count limit at this time and begin omitting unnecessary details that may only bog down your essay and make it unfocused. How can information be "condensed" while keeping the essence and maintaining the relevance of the essay? You can remove adverbs and excessive modifiers, as well as transform detailed sections to general statements.