Overly Technical _ In many cases, the person reading your resume and personal statement will be part of a different department to the one where you are applying to work. Therefore, he may have no knowledge of the more technical aspects of the position so avoid the use of jargon. Your personal statement should be concise, informative and enjoyable and should be understandable to all readers. Vivid imagery always captures the attention of the reader so work on your writing skills! A strong resume needs to be backed up with an equally powerful and compelling personal statement if you want to get through to the first round of interviews. Take the time to craft your statement and you'll immediately be ahead of the majority of candidates who continue to make the above errors.
When you allow a fresh set of eyes on your admission essay it is almost as if your personal statement is getting practice. After all, your statement will ultimately end up being read by one or more people while your application is being reviewed so it makes sense that a well read personal statement should do better in its final stages. Why have the reviewers catch the mistakes that someone else can catch beforehand? It is far better to catch a small mistake that can cost you admission, before it actually has the chance to cost you.