After grammar and spelling, the next problem that needs be checked is transition. Read your essay. Go through it from end to end, and check to see if your essay flows smoothly. Does each sentence flow smoothly to the next? Does each paragraph flow logically to the next? Each statement should be connected or somehow related to the one before it, not thrown randomly together. Next, limit the use of "I" in the beginning of most sentences as it is already obvious that the essay is a piece written by an individual.
Stay Focused on your Theme. Before you begin your personal statement, decide what point or theme you want to get across. Make sure the entire essay revolves around that point by editing out any sentences that may lead the reader astray. Though you may be tempted to share a lot of different information about yourself in order to give the admissions committee a complete picture, it is more effective to highlight one revealing, important aspect. Pick something about yourself that you feel makes you stand out from the crowd and is related to your decision to become a physician.