Empty Words _ Since most personal statements are about 5μ lines, you don't have space for empty statements such as 'I am a hard worker' or 'I am a people person'. How can the hiring manager ascertain that this is the truth without any evidence to back up such lofty statements? You need to give them examples of your work ethic and how it positively impacted your employer as well as evidence of your interpersonal skills.
In this personal statement introduction the reader is captured by the reason why they chose to become an investment banker. The author of this piece has demonstrated a powerful introduction, the style is simple, straightforward narrative. This personal statement will surely provide a valuable insight as to why she wishes to become a nurse.