oMake sure you haven't used over long, unwieldy sentences or paragraphs. If you have you must break these up. _ oThat you've started your personal statement with a powerful introduction so this captures your reader's attention _ straight away. oThat your structure is easy to follow and that each sentence hooks into the next line. oThat you finish with your future career goals. _ A key advantage is to use a professional to edit and improve your personal statement. If, however you are working in isolation and do not have that advantage, be wary of allowing family or friends to read and comment on it. For one thing, an outside will be objective and critical: they may be full of praise or go to the other extreme so far as style, at least, is concerned.
The person you choose to look over your statement should be checking everything. Along with grammar and spelling errors they should check the tone of the paper, the flow of the paper, and the overall style of the paper. So, it makes sense that the person you choose to look over your admission essay should be well tuned in writing. Additionally, they should also be able to let you know if there is anything they feel you should omit or add. Once you have made the changes they recommend, then you should have them re_read your personal statement to ensure quality. If you want to be ultra_safe, then have yet another set of fresh eyeballs look over your revised personal statement.