After grammar and spelling, the next problem that needs be checked is transition. Read your essay. Go through it from end to end, and check to see if your essay flows smoothly. Does each sentence flow smoothly to the next? Does each paragraph flow logically to the next? Each statement should be connected or somehow related to the one before it, not thrown randomly together. Next, limit the use of "I" in the beginning of most sentences as it is already obvious that the essay is a piece written by an individual.
Lousy samples and excerpts _ Some sites, which provide personal statement samples, also provide excerpts based on personal or biographic information submitted. These statements are often delivered after you have provided them with personal information such as achievements, experiences, academic background, and your motivations for taking up the course. However, if the samples provided to you do not reflect your achievements and goals as an incoming student, you might want to look somewhere else. A good sample, outline, or excerpt should be comprehensive, interesting, and highly useful.