After grammar and spelling, the next problem that needs be checked is transition. Read your essay. Go through it from end to end, and check to see if your essay flows smoothly. Does each sentence flow smoothly to the next? Does each paragraph flow logically to the next? Each statement should be connected or somehow related to the one before it, not thrown randomly together. Next, limit the use of "I" in the beginning of most sentences as it is already obvious that the essay is a piece written by an individual.
How do you write a medical school personal statement that will capture your reader? You need to be in tune with your audience and you need to be willing to completely clear your mind from all of your worries, doubts, fears, apprehensions, expectations of what you think a medical school essay should be, and you've got to come at it from the point of view of this older, experienced, seasoned, maybe cynical admissions committee member who has read 5ꯠ essays, and is kind of dreading having to read another medical personal statement.