The person you choose to look over your statement should be checking everything. Along with grammar and spelling errors they should check the tone of the paper, the flow of the paper, and the overall style of the paper. So, it makes sense that the person you choose to look over your admission essay should be well tuned in writing. Additionally, they should also be able to let you know if there is anything they feel you should omit or add. Once you have made the changes they recommend, then you should have them re_read your personal statement to ensure quality. If you want to be ultra_safe, then have yet another set of fresh eyeballs look over your revised personal statement.
The goal of a PS is to present useful information, thus all or just a little of the information listed below should typically be included in a PS: _ A brief educational background; _ The reasons for choosing your major, what interests you about your chosen subject, and the details of what you have read about the subject; _ The career plans you have laid out upon completion of the program; _ Employment experience, voluntary work done, particularly if it is relevant to the subject, and the skills and experiences gained from these activities; _ Any involvement in enrichment activities such as special trainings or "camps", and _ Extracurricular activities, social, sports, or leisure interests. To further aid you in the task of identifying important information for inclusion, consider the following: