But you've got to sound: Like you care a lot, and like you're completely devoted to it. An example: "I am completely devoted to medicine for the rest of my life. It's everything for me because it's the only thing that's going to allow me to express who I am personally and professionally." High_impact language has this very strong absolute, emotionally rich, concrete side to it where as a reader I am completely engrossed, engaged, enmeshed. I buy it. I believe you. Some of the best places to look for this kind of writing is where there is someone who is making a very impassioned speech. One of the best places that I know is in the most powerful, compelling, moving speeches of our time. Like Martin Luther King's "I Have A Dream," or speeches by Gandhi, or speeches by John F. Kennedy, or speeches by Barack Obama. Speeches that really elevate you and make you feel that there's hope for you, hope for us and that there's something bigger to strive for.
Show, Don't Tell. This is one of the most difficult (but also one of the most important) skills to incorporate into your essay. "Showing and not telling" means that you ground your essay in specific details. Rather than simply asserting a big idea, you describe the experience surrounding it. Consider the following two examples: a) Because I was often sick, I learned one of my most important values in life: to make the most of my time and create a meaningful existence. b) When I was little, I was often sick. I would spend days in bed, and as an active kid, I hated the enforced stillness. I used to complain ceaselessly to my parents__but rather than let me succumb to self_pity, my parents would force me to make the most of my time. And as I painted, built Lego castles, and wrote crazy madlibs (quite badly!), I learned something important about myself: that I could be happy so long as I was productive. Do you see the difference? The first example offers a statement of personal belief__ but because it is just a factual declaration, it sounds as though it could have been written by anyone. The second example offers the same idea, but shows us rather than tells us about it. As a result, it is personal and unique, and makes the writer stand out as an applicant.