Often, the first draft is not the essay you originally envisioned. You might even discover that your ideas about your theme have changed as you have been writing. If you do not like the way certain sections are stated, re_arrange them. Once you are pleased with the body, make sure the conclusion and introduction still match it and complement the way you see your topic at this point. If not, rewrite them to fit the essay you did write and the way you see your topic now.
Long before you have reached the point of revision, however, it is important that you personal statement is intended as a selling tool for you to gain entry to your chosen university. If you wish to interest the reader it is important that you are your own critic. You will need to prune and polish, check grammar and spelling, take another look at your style: in fact, you may need to re_write your first few sentences to ensure your personal statement is powerful and will capture your readers attention instantly. A great way to help with this is to read sample personal statements these samples will give you a clear idea of how you may improve your opening.