In conceptualizing a theme, you have to consider the main question, "What would you like to say with your essay?" For example, do you want the admissions committee to understand your choice of major and career in relation to your family background, or do you want to share your passion for your chosen field and your desire to achieve excellence in it? Whichever theme you come up with, this has to be unique to you as an applicant and should be related to your personal background, choice of major, and choice of career. The more unique a theme is, the more interesting the essay will be. In this sense, you can capitalize on personal facts you believe are noteworthy of exposition.
The person you choose to look over your statement should be checking everything. Along with grammar and spelling errors they should check the tone of the paper, the flow of the paper, and the overall style of the paper. So, it makes sense that the person you choose to look over your admission essay should be well tuned in writing. Additionally, they should also be able to let you know if there is anything they feel you should omit or add. Once you have made the changes they recommend, then you should have them re_read your personal statement to ensure quality. If you want to be ultra_safe, then have yet another set of fresh eyeballs look over your revised personal statement.