"The prospect of helping people has driven me to fulfil many goals in life and this is truly my dream. Although it is great to have ambitions _ I now want to translate my goals into reality. Becoming a nurse is a natural extension of my interest in medicine. Following graduation, I found myself advising investment bankers on the stock exchange, secretly desiring the opportunity of helping others overcome illness and promote health."
Your medical school personal statement needs to sell. Every single word has to sell your reader and answer the question: "Is it worth my time to read one more word of this essay?" To be persuasive is to sell your reader on your next sentence, your next paragraph, your next idea of your medical school essay.