After grammar and spelling, the next problem that needs be checked is transition. Read your essay. Go through it from end to end, and check to see if your essay flows smoothly. Does each sentence flow smoothly to the next? Does each paragraph flow logically to the next? Each statement should be connected or somehow related to the one before it, not thrown randomly together. Next, limit the use of "I" in the beginning of most sentences as it is already obvious that the essay is a piece written by an individual.
It is important to put yourself in the shoes of the Admissions Officer: why would your personal statement be unique, how are you different from the other candidates? Primarily you need to decide how you will divide your personal statement into digestible chucks. The most obvious way is to divide into paragraphs of 100 words. If you aim for between 500 and 600 words at most, it will help your admission officer when they have to read thousands of personal statements to find the perfect student.