Another problem often discovered at this stage is the presence of too many short sentences and paragraphs that seem choppy and abrupt. As a solution, try to develop these into longer, more graceful sentences. Formal writing generally utilizes longer sentences, so try using more compound and complex sentences. Using long sentences add flavor and variety to your writing, not to mention the fact that it also showcases your proficiency with words. You can also consider the word_count limit at this time and begin omitting unnecessary details that may only bog down your essay and make it unfocused. How can information be "condensed" while keeping the essence and maintaining the relevance of the essay? You can remove adverbs and excessive modifiers, as well as transform detailed sections to general statements.
Poor outline _ One of the most distinguishing aspects of well_written personal statement samples is a precise outline. Since a sample will serve as your guide, it should contain an outline as well, not just content. You can use the outline as a pattern when writing your own admissions essay so you will know which information to include and which ones to leave out. Statement samples, which do not contain outlines, may not be the best guides and may be of little use to applicants. Along with its personal statement content, a sample should also contain an outline so you will know how to organize your thoughts and experiences into a more solid composition.