Apart from this, interest in the subject can also be mentioned. To start with, one needs to explain the reasons for choosing the course. With this, they must also show that they have researched about the course and that they are keen to do it really. It may hold good if you tend to explain what you hope to achieve after the completion of the course. The good personal statements also include interests and hobbies of the candidates and, in particular, any responsibilities they had at school. Show the officers that you are good both for team work as well as individual efforts; show them that you are able to communicate well with others. You must not forget to tell them that you are not afraid of taking any responsibility on your shoulders. If you are smart enough, you may also add certain lines stating your expectations from the university.
When you allow a fresh set of eyes on your admission essay it is almost as if your personal statement is getting practice. After all, your statement will ultimately end up being read by one or more people while your application is being reviewed so it makes sense that a well read personal statement should do better in its final stages. Why have the reviewers catch the mistakes that someone else can catch beforehand? It is far better to catch a small mistake that can cost you admission, before it actually has the chance to cost you.