In this personal statement introduction the reader is captured by the reason why they chose to become an investment banker. The author of this piece has demonstrated a powerful introduction, the style is simple, straightforward narrative. This personal statement will surely provide a valuable insight as to why she wishes to become a nurse.
The person you choose to look over your statement should be checking everything. Along with grammar and spelling errors they should check the tone of the paper, the flow of the paper, and the overall style of the paper. So, it makes sense that the person you choose to look over your admission essay should be well tuned in writing. Additionally, they should also be able to let you know if there is anything they feel you should omit or add. Once you have made the changes they recommend, then you should have them re_read your personal statement to ensure quality. If you want to be ultra_safe, then have yet another set of fresh eyeballs look over your revised personal statement.