In this personal statement introduction the reader is captured by the reason why they chose to become an investment banker. The author of this piece has demonstrated a powerful introduction, the style is simple, straightforward narrative. This personal statement will surely provide a valuable insight as to why she wishes to become a nurse.
When you allow a fresh set of eyes on your admission essay it is almost as if your personal statement is getting practice. After all, your statement will ultimately end up being read by one or more people while your application is being reviewed so it makes sense that a well read personal statement should do better in its final stages. Why have the reviewers catch the mistakes that someone else can catch beforehand? It is far better to catch a small mistake that can cost you admission, before it actually has the chance to cost you.