Use of inappropriate topics _ There are certain topics that should not be discussed in your personal statement and, therefore, should not be included in statement samples. A tatement should not mention poor grades, political leanings, and pointless gimmicks. If an example statement includes topics about political opinions or is too lengthy to the extent that it no longer makes any sense, you need to search for a better sample online. Using a sample as a guide when writing a statement is highly useful; however, not all samples are actually reliable. By learning to pinpoint the telltale signs of a bad statement example, you can find a better sample to help you write a winning admissions essay for your college, graduate school, or law school applications.
But you've got to sound: Like you care a lot, and like you're completely devoted to it. An example: "I am completely devoted to medicine for the rest of my life. It's everything for me because it's the only thing that's going to allow me to express who I am personally and professionally." High_impact language has this very strong absolute, emotionally rich, concrete side to it where as a reader I am completely engrossed, engaged, enmeshed. I buy it. I believe you. Some of the best places to look for this kind of writing is where there is someone who is making a very impassioned speech. One of the best places that I know is in the most powerful, compelling, moving speeches of our time. Like Martin Luther King's "I Have A Dream," or speeches by Gandhi, or speeches by John F. Kennedy, or speeches by Barack Obama. Speeches that really elevate you and make you feel that there's hope for you, hope for us and that there's something bigger to strive for.